Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkPower
I think having a little more rhythm if not rhyme to convey it would be best. It doesn't flow as it could.
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I totally agree! This was actually a tune that was rattling around in my head for a day or two before I put it to paper. I can't write music but with timing of the tune helped the flow a wee bit. There in lies the issue with some song lyrics being written as poetry.
I very much appreciate your feed back. This is the first forum (other than my friends, my church and family) that I've exposed my work to. Validation from outside opinions feels pretty damn good!