[tarotwolf]

hm...

Well, let me open by saying that I really liked the flavor of the first paragraph. There's a lot of missing capitization but I have to say it was a real hook. I like the "I'm going to tell you a story that might be true" approach.

But from there I kind of get a shrug. It doesn't really do anything but bullet point a handful of events that do little to build on the mystery and intrigue of the opening lines. They could have been taken from anyone's life and are, for the most part, uninteresting. Here I think some strangeness could have been introduced. Art classes, for example, that somehow gave some eeire insight to what he would become in later life. Without that build up the last scene, dodging the oncoming bullets ala Matrix, makes no sense at all.

I get the feeling that this is supposed to be a prolouge or introduction to a longer story. I'd be interested in giving it another read if you could find a way to recreate that "pop" you had in the first paragraph.

I'm not the best suited for editing the technical aspects but those are just some of my thoughts on what a reader might be looking for.