[jaziz69]

It was a brilliant read, loved the description, however at one point i felt it got a bit too excessive (i think the point where she is lighting the candle) although you then 'reigned it in' so to speak, so nothing too major. Here are a few points that made me stop reading and i had to think about them:

"...and they seemed to see without really seeing anything." - Probably just me being me, but I didn't think this really worked. I know it's hard to describe that kind of vacant look in a different way, but the repetition here didn't really work for me and kind of stood out a bit.

"It was the only light in the room but at the same time it seemed to do no more then cast enough light to see the flame itself." - **than**

"I felt like it was eating at my skin, or maybe my very life" - the second description just felt a bit 'extreme' compared to the rest of the piece so far. It feels like a strong jump from the darkness "eating at my skin" (which i loved by the way) to it actually being life threatening. You could probably leave the second half of the sentence out.

I think the way you described the candle as seeming "to do no more then cast enough light to see the flame itself." was brilliant and really adds to that unnaturalness. It just connotes so much.

This sentence was the one that really hit off the tension for me; short, sweet, and chilling! "Once this candle goes out," she whispered, but loudly enough that I heard clearly what she was saying, "I could be anyone, or anything inside me." With that said the candle began to flicker as if on cue. Very inspiring.

"I turned back to her, trying to ignore the eerie feeling of the thing behind me; trying to beat down the childish fears that were rising within me" - The childish fears bit is brilliant, something everyone relates to and i think it is actually that feeling you get when you try to brush off something scary. I don't think you need to repeat "me" again at the end of the sentence; it feels a bit repetitive and i thought sounds better without. You could even slightly alter it of course, but the extra "me" sounds unnecessary.

Loved it overall, but i still think, as with any piece, there is room to make it exceptional, possibly directing your description towards the 'chill factor' (sorry for this vagueness!)
It's definitely a piece worth pursuing 'perfection' for though.

Great stuff, keep writing.