Quote:
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He was average height and build.
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He was
of average height and build?
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Some of us leaders, some of us emissaries, all of us unified in the belief that freedom is a
right.
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You've inadvertently pressed the Enter button here I think[/quote]
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yet most of the software they used, goods they
bought, and art they loved came from us.
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Another inadvertent Enter button?
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Though, there would not be a shot fired or system dropped until 40 days later.
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An unnecessary comma?
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Amazing work! Truly splendid!
Your simplicity is astonishingly endearing. I can't wait to read what happens. You're talking about a revolution. You're writing about technicalities, about technologies... that's always intimidating. This isn't just a short story you're writing, you're writing something that's relevant, and huge.
Your sentence structures were just fine. I could only find those small flaws I pointed out. Good job.