[Serac]

Let's take a look at the stereotype checklist up in here, up in here.....

1. Does something come undone or unraveled during the poem? Check.

2. Does the poem deal with perceived emotional pain or rape? Check.

3. Do the words kill, die, dead, or death appear at all? Uncheck.

4. Do the words dark, darkness, haunt, or haunting appear more than once? Uncheck.

5. Does the poem end in some sort of resolve to be stronger or some such similar way? Check.

Of the five things I came up with on the spot, this poem has three of them. Because I am a master judge of everything, I accurately judge this poem to be teen angsty. That is not cool, Vivi.

I couldn't find an actual pattern to read it in, either. It was choppy and didn't run at all. Even when talking in a normal manner, there is a certain swagger and fluidness to it. Speech is best when it rolls off the tongue and kicks your hearer's eardrums with the boot of eloquence. So it follows that a poem, which at its best is meant to be a pretty cluster of words with a form and rhyme, must use not the boot, but the bazooka of eloquence. This had no user-friendly reading pattern, and when spoken it doesn't come out eloquent or fluid. This is what makes it teen angst. It's a cluster of words trying to describe sadness and anger. You also throw in the F word, for good measure, laying to rest the saving grace of class. Surely you can do better than that, dearest!