Thread: A Painful Life
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Old 18-02-2008, 03:26 AM
niamhoneill niamhoneill is offline
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Re: A Painful Life

HI,

I agree with most of the other peoples comments. I also noticed some errors and also you jumped tenses at least once. You mentioned something about the kinife "is still there" and then went back into past tense.

Very dark. I feel that it could have been padded out more. With more work it could be good.
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