|
Re: Civilization - The Last War (Chapter One)
I like this story  It's got a nice flow to it. just one part I had a bit of a problem with.
Quote:
some even have a constant drip of substances we haven't even began to try and identify never the less label.
|
This sort of bugged me, and I think it's the 'never the less' part. 'Never the less' is a term used most commonly to say that you don't want to do something, but are going to do anyway. Maybe switch that with 'not to mention'? I think that would work better
__________________
"You could put a whole regiment of Dicks on my back without making me feel any better."
-Rudyard Kipling
The Jungle Books, Servants of the Queen
|