Thread: The Carnage
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Old 22-02-2008, 01:55 PM
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Re: The Carnage

Gorey, is this an English spelling?

What about saying in the synopsis…It’s a wickedly twisted tale…?

What about just saying
Quote:
…, they’d become sick.?
What about saying
Quote:
…hard enough not to draw blood.?
What about
Quote:
…I stabbed the dagger to a whore’s neck.?
If not then it should be…to one of the whores’ necks. (I think.)

..eachother should be separated…each other.

Again…each other.

What about…I slit her throat in lieu of I cut ones throat.?

It should be…the second… Or just say…The second sinner fell to the floor.?

What is arf?

What about…
Quote:
As she laid(lie) on her back the blood spewed, gushed oozed from her serrated stomach.?
(Choose only one word of course.)

Then capitalize…The blood spattered in…(Originally you had “the…”)

Obviously, this story caught my attention again. So…definitely a wicked sense of humor though violent story it is…I would have extended the details and dialogue more. But that’s me. Just to be even more evil/humorous why not say the advertisement for Family Guy was blaring, I needed to rush so that I wouldn’t miss my favorite show.?
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