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Good to see another story from you, Niam! You've produced yet another amusing one from the insane side, hehehe.

I thought Dan was terrific for his stupidity and naiveté. The simplest things went right over his head! And Sally was no rocket scientist either, but an amusingly aggressive gold-digger. I liked that one guy even resorted to plastic surgery to escape her.

I would have liked to read more about her efforts to charm Dan in the form of a dialog. You could of had a lot of fun with that one. Her ham-fisted approach to flirting combined with Dan's stupidity could have been uproariously funny.

I thought it was really funny that Dan was still on the beach after she'd married another guy. Almost as amusing was the fact the she'd so easily forgotten him on the beach.

I think the last line could have been drawn out a little more. It was so distant from Dan's predicament that it seemed almost non-sequitor. If you wrote a little more about how she felt, seeing Dan still on the beach, it would give the close of the story more impact.

Overall, it seems that many parts were just a bit rushed. Some parts, like getting a drugged Dan out of the airport, could be explained in greater detail and would be worth a lot of laughs. You've setup a good premise and good characters. Now let them live a little more.

Thanks for sharing and posting another fun story!

Cheers!

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