[Ambrose]

Yeah, not bad. I liked all the background given for Alice, her dad the drunk, her involvement in Roger's sexual shenanigans, and how hard she had to struggle to escape her past. What you lacked in character detail, you made up in back story, so bravo there. That's not to say this story would not benefit from a little more character detail, like what Alice and Dylan look like, and more of what Alice is feeling. A lot of things felt rushed, especially the wedding. The story would have benefited from more buildup, a slow walk to the alter, she's nervous, maybe she spots Roger in the crowd, that kind of thing. All in all though, I agree with Vor that you have a decent enough grasp of how writing works. Now I think you just need to work on really getting down into the gritty details. Show us everything, and tell us nothing. Let feelings come across visibly whether it be tears, angry pounding on the wall, etc. And really describe the setting. I really wanted to know what living in the street was like for Alice. You could have exploited that scenario to really wrench our hearts out for the poor girl.

Good job and keep up the writing!