You need to separate the following two speeches…
Quote:
Then why don’t we nuke the planet…
We can’t even do that…
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I would change the following…
Quote:
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Lee cut in rudely, a rising pang of anger in his voice.
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(You don’t need “rising” twice.) Also eliminate the second period in that sentence.
In the final paragraph just say something like…
Not only had the squadron respected Al, but they wouldn’t dare disregard his orders. (Because you mentioned he is their leader.)
I want see more details of each character; their war zone/environmental surroundings. The weapons could be more detailed with the other soldiers and their uniforms. You mentioned a symbol but give more detail.
I think your tenses are incorrect. But I’m no expert so you might want to ask an editor. You have an interesting beginning I’ll leave it at that until I read more.