Thread: A plot to rule the world from a dark place
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Old 29-02-2008, 12:17 PM
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RENA HANDS RENA HANDS is offline
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Re: A plot to rule the world from a dark place
Quote:
One evening, winters bitter chill…


It should be
Quote:
winter’s
What saying…
Quote:
we had woken up with?
Why would you stay in a location where there is dangerous gas?

I would say…
Quote:
I noticed a spraying sound coming from the bedroom.
What about...
Quote:
I noticed a hissing sound radiating from the bedroom.?
I lost interest. Sorry. I would extended the details and action but not with so much with procedural execution.
Not that I haven't done such things when I started writing. Heck, I still do it but then return and edit my errors.
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Right, I'll keep to the present but just take a glance at the past. Damn, is this poetry?


Last edited by RENA HANDS; 29-02-2008 at 12:20 PM.
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