You have missing periods and much details…
What does this Joanna look like? The doctor? And Ridley Smythe?
If you are going to give me detail about each character later well you still need to give detail about them.
Also the setting; I want to read more about it.
Quote:
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Those wallets won’t make themselves, and I’ve got quotas to meet(.)
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I would mention more about this “bond” between child and mother.
Also…
just say that the babe had no penis.
I don’t think you need a comma before
“from his medical bag.”
What about…
Quote:
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One who shall leave a mark on this world.?
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The last sentence has no period.