[Ryankia]

I am definitely enjoying the basis so far.

A couple of things I noticed throughout. Be careful with your tense changes. You have several of them throughout, and they can be confusing for the reader

Don't be afraid to mix up your sentences, in the fact you start them too often with a pronoun. Mix it up, as "He" and "The" get really boring after awhile.

COMMAS! You really went over board with them and use them more often and is really necessary. I want you to read through this piece and really clean it up overall. Reword sentences if you have to.