Quote:
Originally Posted by Delusional
COMMAS! You really went over board with them and use them more often and is really necessary. I want you to read through this piece and really clean it up overall. Reword sentences if you have to.
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O_O Oops!! I'll try and fix that! I'm not feeling so great (I think I caught the flu. =P) so I may not be bale to do anything productive for the week, but I'll try! ^_^
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdamThomas
Good stuff. I can't believe you're 16! I would have rather died than read a book when I was 16.
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GASP!
Books = Life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdamThomas
I would establish the missing table corner earlier. Perhaps when you first introduce the table as a prop. That will help diminish the "oh, that's convenient" factor when he notices a chunck of table in his time of need.
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LOL! You're right! I never noticed that! I didn't think about it, because (ZOMG SPOILERS) he wasn't really in big trouble, so I figured that it didn't matter. Now that I see what you're talking about, you're right! >_<