Very very good stuff, Rick. You had good description throughout and nicely defined characters.
I really liked this description:
Quote:
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The green and yellow telltale lights were reflected in his glasses.
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Very clever and subtle.
Your characters all have very distinct personalities and backgrounds. I already have a crush on Ali, hehehe. Most of what I know about her so far is what is described by Henderson, but I like what I've read so far.
What I like most is the opportunity for conflict. There's a lot of sub-plots going on that might cross and send all the good stuff happening into a tailspin. Henderson and Ali in the hot tub is a good thing now, but that's going to make things
really complicated later on. Nice!
Loved all the detailed music descriptions. When I read the "The road that lies ahead" I kept imagining Bob Seger's voice singing it.
Good Job! Looking forward to the next part!
Cheers!