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Old 03-03-2008, 08:06 AM
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Re: FALLEN ANGEL (a story with not a werewolf or vampire in sight!)

Quote:
He loved this venue; it was a wonderful place to start a tour. It was a beautiful facility,
This bit seemed a bit redundant, perhaps rework the structure of the sentences here.

Otherwise, a fantastic beginning. You developed the characters well, the feel between them and the nostalgia for the old band. Looking forward to more of this one from you and glad to see you breaking the mold of the "undead" hehe
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