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Old 03-03-2008, 10:13 AM
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xtremelady xtremelady is offline
Mrs. Laughs a lot
 
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Re: Beneath Bloody Skin (Chapter 3)

Description; this is both your strength and weakness – you produce some brilliant vivid images in one’s head – how the woman entices – uses her sexuality to lead her targets/victims to their doom. The scene setting lovely....on the other hand in some places I get a little lost as to movements and how some of the interaction plays out.

Character; she is nicely defined, through her actions mainly and responses, plus the males reaction to her. She has strength resolve and purpose. You have left it quite cleverly for the reader guess at her motivation....which at this point could be anything.

Plot; this area is strong...one wants to read to learn the how the mystery will unfold, leaving one with curiosity, and the thirst to learn more.

Don’t get too bogged down with technicalities, as long as the story is interesting and holds a reader’s attention, you have an edge....everything else can be rectified as your skills develop and be improved on.

Really hope you continue with this story.
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Time; an elusive element to a creative mind. For the story burns to be expressed, flooding the mind, seeking an outlet. Red brimmed eyes and dark circles fore-tells a deeper story, echoed in a mirrors reflection. - my story.
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