[parker2k]

I found the story very enjoyable, and I think that you have written a very descriptive piece which made it very easy to picture the characters. Looking at the other comments I have to say that I'd like to write a story in the first person but I bet is really hard not to put in a lot of my and I'm and I's when you are trying to write in that style. Although I can understand what AutoMan is getting at with the easier flow of words when these are taken away. All in all though I found it enjoyable. Thanks for sharing.