There is nothing wrong writing something “short,” as long as you make your point precise and clear…
I think you should space out
“a way.” ,but in such a way to make…
You don’t need a period here…his eyes roamed over her slender body,? they rested briefly…
How many robe(s) is she wearing?
What about saying crimson robe or ruby robe?
That’s a very long, long sentence with many, many commas.
What about…
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An ancient anger resurfaced…?
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Is not Andreous centuries years old?
What about saying…
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and of the physical pleasures he would be denied?
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(Or something similar.)
What about…
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would release him from his hellish prison.?
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I think you need to capitalize Dark Lords. It would be like say Darth Vadar*. Sorry not sure of the proper spelling.
You’ve in my opinion achieved your goal. You were informative and visual making your point to the reader.