[tamaulipas19602]

I like color and texture in stories. What are the sounds, smells, light/shadows, etc. Just a little sets the mood, for me. I truly enjoyed your characters and the ending was fun. In prose, any device you use that increases the drama of the work is OK. I believe that the rules of sentence structure only apply in school for grades. I would edit some of the compound sentences down to chops and blurbs. This may increase the readers understanding of the anxiety of the situation. Nice work.