Quote:
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Moreover, we, were able to rest, not spending every minute of the day worrying about him.
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comma after "we" is extra and unnecessary, since you've already emphasized it by putting it in italics.
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Why haven't you put the conversation in quote tags? It looks pretty as it is, but I think it DOES need quote tags.
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Quote:
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The same years old stuff.
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What? Completely didn't understand this.
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Quote:
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They work in a company or are trying to take their bachelor's degree.
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I think you
get a degree rather than make one.
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Quote:
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The look at their faces is priceless.
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Look
on one's face.
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Quote:
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Vince has grown up into a lazy, rude scum.
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It's just
scum, not
a scum, or it could be
a piece of scum.
Piece of shit is nice too, but that's your decision.
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Now, here's what I think of you:
()&@#(*@Y( @GE(*@& D(@*&$^^*@ CD*&# @!*#Y$ * *@YE ^^$, and also -- *(&AUD &&D&&@@ @*#&*$^!(!!!!
*ahem* I'm done.
This was one of the coolest fucking things I've read in a long time. It's just so fucking honest and direct. And it's exactly what I think about with regards to a lot of things. Fuck funerals, fuck soceity, fuck family, etc.
I'm curious... why is it in non-fiction.
I'm also curious as to whether this is going to have a story... as in if something happens, or is it just like a diary out of the life of a young man who's ... well, a big kid.