[DarkPower]

I have to say it needs a lot of work. You dont need to tell us how old dougs phone is unless that has a significance to something in the story which from what I gather it doesnt.

The whole story was not as good as it could be and though I did want to know why that was happening I didnt feel the need to read more. It doesnt catch the reader enough for them to want to read the rest. Curiosity of course makes me want to but I dont feel that i am willing to wait until you write the rest.

Doug seemed a little young. how old is he?