Thread: Indigo
View Single Post
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 12-03-2008, 01:30 PM
RENA HANDS's Avatar
RENA HANDS RENA HANDS is offline
SM 's Roving Reviewer - Want a review then PM me.
Photobucket
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,175
Total Points: 14,049.92
RENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary memberRENA HANDS is an Honorary member
Question Re: Indigo

For me the introduction was a bit long winded.

Are you switching tenses? I’m mean thought this is the first person’s point of view, should the tense change?

Shifting her weight…wait is to remain inactive.

The point of view is definitely new. I don’t dislike but I can’t say that I fully enjoy it either. The thoughts seem drawn out and repetitive, but I suppose the stages “puberty” would do that to anyone.
__________________
Right, I'll keep to the present but just take a glance at the past. Damn, is this poetry?


Reply With Quote