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Old 17-03-2008, 09:04 AM
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Gus2.0 Gus2.0 is offline
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Re: The Fall of Nemora: Chapter 1; Part 1

I thought this was good, but there were a few mistakes that caught my eye.

Quote:
He raced down each street after street.
shouldn't it be He raced down, street after street. or He raced down each street

and shouldn't:

Quote:
The center of the city, the Monolith was the primary energy source...
be:

The center of the city, the Monolith, was the primary energy source...

Those were some mistakes i found. And I liked the name Plagus. Its catchy. Funny thing, it has GUS in it which is my username. Ha. Funny.
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