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Old 20-03-2008, 12:09 AM
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Keplaz Keplaz is offline
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Re: They Said it Wouldn't Last

I guess the guy who wrote this has long since left SM but this story had loads of potential. It was rushed and didn't quite tell the story it could have. More description and info as to why the family didn't like him and less of the rushing but letting us share their relationship as it developed, fatherhood, what happened after she left, how he fixed up his life, why the narrator let the exes ex stay with him. So many good scenarios, just a little too quickly done.

It was a great story with bags of potential and I would have loved to see more work done on it.
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