Thread: An Alchemist's Visit
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Old 22-03-2008, 12:35 PM
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Question Re: An Alchemist's Visit
The title grabbed me first!

The office has only one ‘lavish’ piece of furniture? That seems a bit awkward. You could add more than the amoire. Then mention the ‘mundane oak table.’

I think ‘Whether you…’ should be capitalized though you are finishing a thought/speech.

This story is indeed creative, but for me the action was rushed and the imagery superficial. You could have added a great deal more. Or at least extended/expanded more.
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