Excellent work, Hirak. You had some complex thoughts here, but you've managed to condense them into a devourable mass. I loved the rhyme scheme. It's the same old ABCB scheme, but you've brought in your own uniqueness and maturity into it. The choice of words was excellent in my opinion.
Quote:
Who has understood the meaning of time?
Those who have, never had time to say.
That which slithers like a serpent of life,
Yet it hovers like a bird of prey.
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Brilliant introductory lines. The concept of time, the mysteries of which have eluded generations... it's a wonderful way to put that forward. I loved the 'serpent' simile. Usually serpents are associated with negative thoughts; death destruction... but people forget that the same snake is an emblem of the Medical Council. Definitely 'a serpent of life'. You rounded up this simile with another wonderful simile, that of a 'bird of prey'. You kept the 'animal' connection so that the reader can identify it immediately, and yet to managed to convey just the opposite thought.
Quote:
Time that bestills the flowing rivers,
But its waves like ripples flow,
Myriads of moments together it keeps,
Yet neither it hastens and nor does it slow.
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Enter musical quality. The gushing of a stream, a river... you've created the atmosphere here and carried the same throughout the stanza using words like 'ripples', 'waves', 'slow' and 'hasten'. I could picture a brook emerging from the snowcapped mountains, winding its way through the plains. While keeping the image firm in my mind, you also brought in your primary theme, 'Time' in such a beautiful manner. Commendable.
Quote:
Time is for ever, a friend or a foe?
An illusion of truth amidst day and night.
A sniff of time which shadow has smelt?
An embodiment of balance between darkness and light.
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I loved this stanza, but I thought the last line was too wordy, and that disrupted the flow a little. All through the poem, you've kept to a maximum of 10 syllables per line. A few lines do exceed that, but it's nothing noticeable. But here, all of a sudden I had a line with fourteen syllables. This was like a speed breaker where the flow is concerned. You've used big words like 'embodiment', 'balance', 'darkness'... all in the same line. It was like having too much of it thrown on you. A little break in the flow, but apart from that, I loved this stanza.
Quote:
Who has understood the meaning of time,
But time alone, a mirage of a kind.
For to find time, is a dream of Man,
To be a man, whom time shall find.
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Here you returned to your original thought by choosing the begin this stanza in the same manner as the previous one. I love the use of the word 'mirage' here. It's a reflection, you can see it, yet it doesn't exist in the true sense. It's abstract, just like time. A wonderful metaphor. The last two lines were definitely my favourites here. The roundabout quality worked wonders. It's such a deep abstract thought, and yet everyone can identify with it.
Brilliant work, Hirak. I loved this.