View Single Post
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 07-04-2008, 06:51 AM
Hazel's Avatar
Hazel Hazel is offline
Regular Reader
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Elizabethton, TN
Posts: 31
Total Points: 328.00
Hazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at home
Send a message via AIM to Hazel Send a message via MSN to Hazel Send a message via Yahoo to Hazel
Re: Fine, give me a quarter first

Personally, I didn't find the tone at the end to be loving, or showing the willingness to swallow pride for the girl. To me it seemed like a quiet, inward admission of blatantly using the girl despite knowing 'he' was no better. He had the same flaws he condemned her for, but was just better at making that into a strategy to trap her. But I did like the raw emotion evoked in this poem, and the way you twisted the mindset. Nicely written.
__________________
"Those weak things that would scratch you do only stroke you." - Armand

"I am not your rolling wheels. I am the highway.
I am not your carpet ride. I am the sky..."
Reply With Quote