[Themis Fallidas]

You could work more on the mystery section of your story. You have created interesting characters, with background references, but when Helen dreams of her brother we all know, or can easily predict what is going to happen next. Vampires do exist, seems to be your concept here and you are not going to let your story fade with a happy end, another victory of Good vs Evil! It is a start of a story about the "killing couple", let's say, but it should be darker, more complicated, not exposed so soon! It would be a nice idea to work on the basis of your plot in order to create a series of episodes concerning the two vampires. I think that you are working on the traditional vampiric nature of your characters, which is very promising because of all the mutant vampires we read lately! Read more about vampire myths and legends, it would be extremely helpful.