[Themis Fallidas]

That was a fine description i must say! You work very well with images, emotions and continuity. Of course, i'm not sure if you have decided yet what is the original idea. It seems to me that you have illustrated the "lonelyness of the long distance runner" and yes i could smell it all the way! What i can't find in your story is the purpose, the motive. I believe that it is absolutely important to let us know more things about your character. You've got the image right, you've created a fine situation but there is no plot in your story. If it was the scene description of a screenplay then everything would be fine. In fact, why don't you try write it again in a screenplay format, but first work on the plot.