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Old 09-04-2008, 08:12 AM
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Zoidberg Zoidberg is offline
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Re: Mechanical Battlefield: Chapter 1

RENA, I guess there are a couple of things I should clear up. I will fix a few mistakes and change a couple things so this will be easier to read.

In the beginning, the Kythorin mech's steam (which I will change) is the releasing of the rocket from the pod, thus sending the missile towards Eric. The Kythorin Mech is the enemy mech mentioned later.

I did not mention the co-pilot's bloody body because since, as later revealed, he is an android and has no blood. I tried to make it sort of different, making you expect him to be a person when in fact he is a human-disguised robot.

The Visual screen I will fix.

When I said,
Quote:
Eric, he and his mech still under fire, began to walk backwards, away from the swarm of bullets.
I meant that he is still in his mech and is steering the mech backwards away from the Kythorin (enemy) mech.

I will capatilize mech. Mecha is the plural form of mech (or so I've been told).

I have never heard of either Titan A.E. or the Final Fantasy thing.

Thank's for the review!

Alex, the EMP was destroyed when Eric placed is grenade next to the core. I will make that more clear.

Thanks for the comments!
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