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In the eyes' of others, they were a ‘gang.’
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'Eyes' is a normal plural and shouldn't have an apostrophe. We don't say "The car doors' were stuck," we say "The car doors/car's doors were stuck."
It's there to show possession...Since 'of' is already there, there isn't any need for any apostrophe...neither on "eyes" nor "others".
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they seemed twice the number they actually were.
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Isn't that the same thing?
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A question…are not members of a gang, usually young boys who possibly grow to be men?
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Not necessarily. There's gangs that initiate people along the way, newly formed gangs, and then there's mafias, most of which are like big families and raise their children to grow into gangsters.
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Also this man dying on the floor, are you going to give more details later?
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Not really. The man is irrelevant to the story. The prologue is there to give a sort of intro to the gang, and to actually
show they are one.
Thank you for the feedback, Rena. I might look through this one more time and see if there's the need to add detail and stuff.
Thanks again!
-Chris.