[Dylan Vorcla]

Originally Posted by Rakkasan;

Wow! Another fine bit of writing. I have veered away from the Vorcla threads because I knew they dealt with vampires and/or werewolves, and although I enjoyed Underworld and Interview with the Vampire very much, I don't normally get into those types of stories.

I sat down with the committed intention of forcing myself to read it, just so I could be as fair as my bias would allow when voting the POTM. To my surprise, I liked this story very much, and was actually quite disappointed when "TO BE CONTINUED..." appeared out of nowhere. I was all wrapped up in it, and never saw it coming. You DOG!

Thanks, Rakk. Glad you enjoyed.

Originally Posted by Vorcla;

Long, coppery hair spilled to her shoulders in a shimmering cascade, framing a face which would have made an angel weep with envy.

Originally Posted by Rakkasan;

It's only a matter of opinion, and mine is the least of all, but it seems that "coppery" is a bit strained. It might be better to leave it as "copper".

From dictionary.com:

cop·per·y /ˈkɒpəri/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kop-uh-ree]
–adjective 1. of, resembling, or containing copper.
2. reddish-brown.

Originally Posted by Vorcla;

There you were, up on stage playing guitar, singing in that incredible voice..."

Originally Posted by Rakkasan;

I know that technically, one can speak and sing in a voice, and certainly the character might have said that (after all, how can I know her mind - I didn't create her), but I image most people you talk to on the street will just say with rather than in.

Well, this is kind of a coin toss, although I see your point. It also happens to be dialogue, and people can say all kinds of things in dialogue that aren't technically accurate. Not everybody speaks like an English instructor. Hell, I don't even speak like an English instructor - and I am one.

Originally Posted by Vorcla;

She laughed, a soft, musical sound that sent ripples of warmth through him.

Originally Posted by Rakkasan;

I'm not sure there should be a comma after "laughed". As I diagram the sentence, it just doesn't need to be there. Help?

Well, in the context of this sentence, you do need one there. The sense is "She laughed; it was a soft musical sound..." But I didn't want a semicolon there. Without a comma, the sense is, "She laughed a sound..." (Like "She said a mouthful...") Not what I was going for.

Originally Posted by Vorcla;

There are a lot of questions here that I need an answer to.

If this is my answer, I'm asking the wrong questions

Originally Posted by Rakkasan;

Both of these sentences seem to have a contradiction in the use of singular vs. plural nouns. If there are questions, should there not be answers? If you get an answer, would it not be the result of one question? I know there may be very limited exceptions to this, but I don't see this as one of them.

I'll give you the first one, but on the second one, I don't see a problem with asking a number of questions to arrive at one answer. Again, too, this is dialogue.

Thanks again for the in-depth review. I really appreciate the time you spent.And I'm glad you're going back to read the other "Vorcla's Quest" threads to see how it all came together.