Quote:
|
Originally Posted by RENA HANDS;
Did you intend ‘off,’ He broke (off) with a choked sob as the cruel irony of it hit home.(?)
|
Yes. He "broke off" (stopped) singing.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by RENA HANDS;
This seems awkward to have both ‘altar’ and ‘slab.’ Rough hands hauled a groggy, half-asleep Dylan off the altar slab. Or are you making it a possessive (asleep Dylan off the altar’s slab?)
|
No - no possessive. "Altar" in this case is used as an adjective describing "slab." It's fine the way it is.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by RENA HANDS;
Again, there is a spacing error with your second two last sentence….When she spoke, her voice was a dry, rattling hiss that echoed of the grave. (Did you intend…that echoed off the grave.(?))
|
No - "echoed of" is used to mean "sounded like." You have to try to look past the literal meanings and see the figurative ones. I try to be metaphorical.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by RENA HANDS;
|
Thank you - but what do I have to do to get 5/5?!
