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Old 04-01-2006, 05:07 AM
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Re: Weeping Unto the Dark...

This was great, lub. The flow, and rhythm and rhyming - it fit together like a puzzle pieces. But, I found one gramer fix - last stanza, 4th line.

Quote:
She vanishes, withdraws to her minds tomb
shouldn't it be, mind's tomb? Since youa re talking about her mind?
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Last edited by BookWhale***; 04-01-2006 at 05:12 AM.
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