Thread: Shattered Eternity Part I
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Old 24-02-2007, 04:20 AM
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Thumbs up Re: Shattered Eternity Part I
The word is spasmodically. Behind the heat,... There was a pause in the air and for a moment,.. Of course, I knew you'd fine me... ..."the sound of Scarlet..." There are many fragmented ideas. There are several repeating ideas and vocabulary. The story is filled with numerous expressive words. The story is filled with many descriptive images. I am not certain of your writing technique, but many of your paragraphs are too long. The story is very remarkable and I am looking forward to the next installment.
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