This was a truly excellent story. The words flow effortlessly and the characters, complex and realistic, come to life in the reader's mind. Though this was under the "youth" category, I think it works equally well for adults. The message is universal enough to apply to all ages.
There were some wonderful metaphors (similes?). One in particular:
Quote:
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When he spoke he sounded like a happy man, as if one more drop of happiness would make him start to sing instead of speaking.
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I also liked brushing away the "butterfly thought".
At a deeper level, I like the way you brought out not only the similarities and differences between the two desk mates but also between the Yukio and all the other characters: Yukio and the teacher sharing writing skills, Yukio and his mother having an artistic side, Yukio and his father being serious, Yukio and Aiko sharing a common situation and heritage. And yet, each character was different as well, just as it is in life.
For some reason, the ending, with the mother tracing the picture with her finger, moved me a bit. (Age breeds sentimentality, I suppose.)
Again, an excellent piece, and I look forward to more from you.
