Thread: A Painful Life
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Old 01-03-2007, 06:11 AM
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RENA HANDS RENA HANDS is offline
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Thumbs down Re: A Painful Life

This story is dreadful, it needs much change. The story warrants greater details of its characters and the setting. The assassin was in the jungle, why? The aunt and uncle just drops this child off in the jungle, why? Who were these people that saved this child soon to be assassin? The assassin and her friend wants to commit suicide, why? The two main characters both attempted suicide more than once, why? Where were the characters living? The main character reminded more of teenager with mental/emotional issues that needed to be addressed by a professional. I was going to comment on the few grammar/punctuation errors made but the story is just not worth improving without a full rewrite in my opinion.
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