[nolastname07]

This short story is quite good. There are only a couple things I believe you should tend to immediately; Grammatical errors and Character Descriptions. As for grammatical errors, you have a few mispellings throughout the text, and in some cases the error seems as if the word was misused. Also, character descriptions should be heeded with more enthusiasm. Although you gave a general description of both characters, It would please me if you were to go into great detail to provide for a lucid visualization of any characters of interested.