Hmm...nice piece of tekst...I can only hope to see this develop...seems like it could make a nice story...although from this piece of tekst the name makes no sense (Another reason to keep going)
Description may have been a little on the low side...but the conversation seemed to flow nicely between the two...plus the girl punching him gets my two thumbs up (Even though if I was in the story I would be the one getting hit
) Somethings DID seems a little simple...stating that he easily dodged the next punch doesn't really give the reader a visual of HOW he dodged it...easily isn't much of a how...simply stating he did
But like I said...update! Me wants more! (
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