[WingcommanderIV]

Thats a really good point that I struggle with too. I write a lot of scripts, and so when I'm writing short stories, like my Aldonn Chronicles (Shameless plug), I often struggle with how much I want to describe, and how much I should leave to the readers imagination A) because imagining stuff is fun and B) because as you said, it's important to keep a tempo and rythem to your story. That's something writers like Stephen King and JRR Tolkien never seemed to comprehend. They wrote these big epics, and all, but they're always pressing pause on their stories to spend a whole page sometimes for sometimes unnecessary description. Really alienates me from their work, it's the balance that you need to find, and sometimes just figuring out how to bring your point across succinctly is half the battle.

Also, don't worry yourself with my rating too much. FOr instance, yes I rated your characterization a 3 (Which for me means average) because it is a dream, and your story isn't really about characters. You know, all stories are about somethign, and are focused on something, and that something may be stronger than another stories something.