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Re: Creative Writing
Very good story. Here are a few things I would suggest changing (emphasis on suggest).
roved through the students (or desks)
Instead of speaking (kill however)
But why won't they speak?
surely someone will thank me
veins clearly showed through the thin skin
eyes ablaze, trying to stir up emotions in his students
believing surely the amazing twist
With a sensational smash of his fist on his desk, he emphasized the grand climax of the story. He noticed then the little girl who had left for the bathroom had returned with a friend. She was hiding behind her legs when Mr. Garfunkle looked over. (I can't make the sentence work -- whose legs?)
From Mr. Garfunkle to her class and back,
to entrust to his memory
"Two wrong rooms in one week were bad enough" indicates he had another wrong room at some point earlier in the week.
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