View Single Post
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 31-08-2007, 09:42 PM
Venus's Avatar
Venus Venus is offline
Editor
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Albany, IN
Posts: 434
Total Points: 1,010.00
Venus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary memberVenus is an Honorary member
Send a message via MSN to Venus Send a message via Yahoo to Venus
Re: Memories of Warmth

Yea James is right about needing some punctuation.

I love the center theme of your poem, and that you carry it through til the end.

"The memory of her smell
Reminds me of hell"

Not sure I really get the above, I hope you didn't use it just to rhyme.

"And even though she walked out
I still think about
Those memories of warmth"

Now that's a good stanza.

Great job Jess.
__________________
I won't rent you my time, I won't sell you my brain, I won't pray to a male god, that would be insane. And I can't support the troops, cuz every last one of them is being duped, and I will not rest a wink until the women have regrouped.
Reply With Quote