[SeaN]

in
the
O
minds eye
you look very much
like you do to the eye
that occupies the space
O
in the form of a socket that
sits in the center of my heart
And I would rather see you there

___________________
947

I've got this sickness you know!
It's making me well
as we speak.

I've got these powers you know...
and soon what I've sewn
I will reap.

I've got these visions you know!
of bitter tastes
as I choke

So watch me swallow it all
As I plummet now
as I fall

I've got this hatred inside
Like a rope I've taut
not to fail

I'll take these losses in stride
As I hide my breeze
in your sail...

I come stumbling toward you
A metaphor for
my approach

But my words leave an image
It's time to move on
as you watch



__________
slammer

yeah I'm tired but I'm cross-wired
so I can't fall asleep

I'm coming down, from across town
it's hella steep...

Once I found a gun, the only one
of its kind

landed in the slammer, heavy hammer
on your mind...

Now from this cell that I call hell
Calling out to me

Your voice is heard, but every word
is tough enough to see



like a tangible tangent that I'm off on...
Like an edible smoke that I always cough on
some incredible stilts that take me away
...but the pedal wilts today

______________
saturate

And I'm broken like you left me
that night you walked out
And fuck you for your arrogance
that's what I'm all about

I see you from across the road
and I feel your beating heart
I know that you'll just pass me by
I've known this from the start

I'll saturate this blood of mine
in spirits and wine and beer
I'll educate your fuckin ass
My ways are seldom close or clear

I'll punch right through your fuckin cause
you have all that you need
I'll bleed right through your fuckin gauze
as you bite the hand that feed


And I'm so fuckin angry... I'm just so fuckin mad
I'm so fuckin lost and I'm so fuckin sad

All I ask is just to grow up...
before I throw up.

__________
po

what up po-town?

Show me the love let me spread it aroun'

lead me to water but don't make me drink

lambs for the slaughter just don't make me think

the end is near
for the path is clear
and not one cowers in fear...

though they should
and surely they would

if only they knew...


and if only you knew I could see it on through...

turning blue as my gut starts to churn on cue. Fuck you if you think you can duck me... you struck me with a vengeance and now I'm paying penance for chance to make it right.

catch me kicking- throwing fists for I'll not leave without a fight

and as day turns to night I'm the last one standing.

And to say you're up-tight, is a mutual understanding

demanding as a sanding-block, on arid chalky gypsum

battered as a laughing stock; relentless as the rope that whip's em.

:::: :::: :::: :::: ::::

you know,
all these 'letters' that I write
that make up all the letters that I write

are just letters
in the end...
so lets not pretend they are more...


You know,
all these 'views' I espouse
all ideas that might arouse...


are no more

than the sum

of just 26 letters

____________
Twenty-six, twenty six, twenty six. Twenty six letters. Twenty six letters.

Twenty six letters. I'll make you in twenty six.
I'll break you in twenty six.

I'll take you... in just twenty six.


And some days twenty six seems like plenty to get a fix... 3 slices of pie, and four 'nick's'.

And we'd roll the four together, and the three we'd eat later...

but today the consequences are greater...


instead of pizza,
copin' pharmies
'stead of herb
we're scorin' dope

'ready lost
all of our teachers-
hit a curb
we're blowin smoke


and in twenty six I'll find myself

in twenty six I'm lost

In twenty six I'll climb a mountain

in twenty six these lungs exhaust

I'll paint you like a mural and I'll take you with me.
I'll see you through my perfect lens
and together we shall be
more than one
what's been done
before is more than anyone could imagine

__________
journals

free association
never contemplation
without hesitation
I spill this presentation
verbal condensation
words of this temptation
The loom that weaves creation
or the womb that feeds the nation

words lost
for pennies
they cost
so many their lives...

memories buried
unsettling
as we carried foward...
we pressed our heading

do south
winds take away
as our sails break away
out to sea...
you might say

and I'll remember the day
forever last May
when you walked away
without much to say
and I miss you today
you might say

or you might not...
you might have forgot

you might forget
never let me inside
that head
our outside that body...

and I'm tired just as fired as I'm wired to the past never last when the feelings keep coming round and round and round...

I'm round, you're found, I'm lost, we're the same... but we cost more together.

_______________
wiretaps and hubcaps

This ain't the state of my union
I'll not resign to your fate

You better lock me in a cell, before it's too late

You know I used to sell rocks? You know I've seen the inside of your cell-blocks?

I've taken your hell-walks, for wealth talks
and money's just another name...
for this crazy fuckin game that we're playing.


Fuck you and your system and your victims and your patrons.

Fuck you and your politics; you feed on helpless nations...

Fuck you with a broomstick like the N.Y.P.D.

Fuck you cause you'll never see no blue-blood spill from me...

So you kill for me... what do I owe you?

Explain the drill to me... should I take a knee and blow you?

What the fuck is going on when I can't speak my voice?

What what the fuck were you thinking... giving me a choice?

Better lock me up fast cause I'm coming for you soon
heatin' up faster than Cammaron... at high noon... in June.

And this ain't no cartoon
so I don't know why your laughin'




______________
it seems I'm always lost, for I can't pay the fee that heaven cost. So I pray to malevolent Gods with white facades and i-pods, who are shy like dogs. When the windshield fogs, I can't see the frogs in my path, so they splat

and that's
that for a rat to stumble on
my name is Sean
I'm hoping we can all just ged'a'long

but I doubt it... so you can watch me pout about it or release me from this carbon-fiber grasp, the the clamp and the clasp

Rasping as your breathing your deceiving as I'm leaving the scene of the crime...
These spoken words are less mine
and more yours...
so drop the drawers and spread'em

with preachy chores
these peaches whores
will bite the hand that fed'em

And my main man Armegedon...
well it seems that he was led in...
by the same fuckin hand that flipped him off.

So now you dance when he says "DANCE"
Sticks his hand down your pants
tells you too look to your right- and cough...

What a fuckin jerk-off we have for a leader...
I'm taking time off'a work
just to fork up cash to feed'er

and yo I've taken that road before...


__________
todaze

In today's entry,
I'll simply Blaze for a century,

report back on what I find...

I can't seem to remember
what I was doing yesterday, and tomorrow is lost on me

but together we
can twist an L and smell the sweet smoke
that makes the sinus choke
always provokes
abstract thought...

least thats what I thought...

It fills the air like tension
and it fades like crime prevention
sucks like juvenile detension...

fails to even mention the cause
or those inherent flaws
that catch the skin-
cutting in-
We're loosing fast as they win

this poll position...
this is a soul tradition
only mission
is retention
goal is total comprehension

then I'm off and I'm out and I'm flying so high
that the fuckers that I meet all seem to slide on by
with a hi or hello-
tryin hard to be mellow
but I'm scared of heights...

I'm turnin green and yellow

__________
and what the hell is that smell, yo?
she fell in stiletto's
and all I seem to know how to do is get hoes...

When I let these flows go
not gona follow my nose though
and it shows... you know?


__________
Pentecost island

And I'm looking for my Pentecost Island
I've these rose colored lenses and two fists full of freedom
yes I'm looking for my Pentecost Island.
I'm looking for my Pentecost Island
I've the wind in white sails and this breath in my lungs
yes, I'm looking for my Pentecost Island.
I'm looking for my Pentecost Island
With warm hearts and these hands turned palms-up...
yes I'm looking for my Pentecost Island.
I'm looking for my Pentecost Island
Through Passage Patterson these Pacific waves I brave...
as I'm looking for my Pentecost Island
I've found my Pentecost Island
and now I sit on the shore and watch the waters gently breaking on the beach
of my perfect Pentecost Island

________________________

So I see on BBC today, the happiest people in the world live on Pentecost Island.

These people live in huts.

By American standards, living conditions on the island are 'third-world'.

Business transactions on the island are conducted in pig-husks. This is their currency.

There are no jails or police- there is no violence.

These are the happiest people in the world.

______________________

So I see on FOX NEWS today, another political scandal

These people live in mansions.

By the worlds standards, these are the most powerful men on the planet.

They control the wealthiest nation on the globe.

It is greed that courses through their veins.

As our faces flush in anger.

_______________________

__________
What's in a word?
and what's in a shape?
what makes a sound, and who see's the colors?
O
Where are the fathers? Where are our brothers?
have you seen our sisters?
or our mothers?
O
What is the price
for these self-loathing creatures
to reach out and touch us like self-righteous preachers
O
With distinct facial features and razor sharp eyes
they steal through the darkness
they wear the disguise
O
Never, forever
Don't question again
through mental repression- suppression of when
O
we walked through this world together as one
but now I'll just let go...
for the entry
is done
__________

__________________

attic

stuck my hand in the red wood chipper
Served me so good
that I thought
I ought' tip 'er...
Gave her a dollar with the other hand
That bitch ate
half my arm
on command!

So now I stand I'm bleeding still
fight I might,
I fear it'll take
more than will

but ain't that the thrill
of life?
you know what I'm sayin son, like
ain't that just the thrill
of life?

taking hold of the knife
he did pear through the strife
what a scare he had prepared...
though wifey never dared
look scared...

She offered him a drink
with a wink and snook past
she knew she must think
of a plan but fast

and as fast as she moved
those bare feet did behoove
her to stop... and face the music

She swept through the yard
like a gold credit card
just as fast as the wind could move...

And his face in her head
was still dangerously red
she decided instead to keep moving

When the police arrived
the man look surprised
couldn't understand what was wong...

they disarmed the man
took the knife from his hand
and brusquely moved him along...



And when the trial started, everyone in attendance rose. Rose from plastic seats and old benches. They stood under menacing, foreboding architecture; between sterile walls and on a ground of supposed knowledge. Judgments are passed, lives are changed, the cycle continues.

From the Judge was what he meant to he to be hearve sent fornt ehj robbsons thwo throushout eh elenents of the ownsmaisn fron rpoao comaonsin finto sure sftei vieerj quaidn toable dishevceld .. wheit gouwneec oa erbaulsue rwoih!

on the real


_______________
Fourth of July

It's the fourth of July
and I'm wondering why
just because it comes after the third

That I must rely
on others for pride
and respect in my own written word

There will come a day
when I'll not hesitate
to build myself up just to fall

till I've figured a way
to stop this decay
I'll concentrate on standing so tall

that you won't even notice
which one of us wrote this
-by then, our worlds will be one

...but I'll finish up later
cause here comes the waiter
and it's hot out here in the sun.
____________________

read this one

So I got this problem, right?
I'm not sure exactly what to do about it, but I guess that is the nature of a problem...
it's becoming... problematic you might say, for when problems fester this is what becomes.
It's a conundrum or a badge of courage depending on how you look at it.
Yes it could be animal could me man- could be plant could be fossil
I'm sure i have seen it before, though I don't recall where
It has visited others today- I can see that in it's eyes
Grimace and fuss for death is the only thing that makes sense to this... thing
Well read in the classics, my problem is quite articulate.
now playing we were par-laying
we were chatting up a storm
when the swarm mentality of another
awkward fatality goes deftly unexplained
and he remained there for weeks
and every now and then he'd sneak peeks at the tracks
what was black
and green
was seen by the dog on the wharf
from the jettie
in a Chevy
and we're ready...
because the time may just be gone anyway before we even know what is going on. Before the smiles fade and the pig parade makes its way down 4th street. Of course street. Site of the divorce and the mental intercourse street. Subject matter perverse street. Coerce street like horse feet.


Wow that was total fuckin gibberish. I'm sorry if you read that. Heres something to make up for it (hopefully):

Says the Flower in my Garden;
"Honey-Bee, I Beg your Pardon!"
Says Honey-Bee, "Do you mean Me?
For we two are all I see..."

Pedals flutter; pollen plummets
purple pistol, cotton summits
assuming these two fight all night
This flowers future seems alright

for though Bee tries with all his might
Still so, he sees he's lost this fight

So pollinate and travel far and
situate the guiding stars

and cars will pass at last your free...
to take my seed from me.


.......weak dude. I suck today


_________________

BANG...neck cranes back slowly, forehead slowly backs away from battered sheetrock- bright-blue walls reveal their insides for all the world to see- spilling gypsum guts... looking at the sky now, chest pressed firmly against this wall... feeling a bit dizzy now as the blood begins to rush back to the white coin on my forhead... BANG... breaking the skin this time blood finds it's way to open air...leaves it's mark on the wall as the neck slowly cranes back again... the neighbors are surely wondering about the noise now... BANG ... almost lose consciousness that time... torrents of rouge and flashes of light and electrical shorts... forgetting now...BANG... that was all she wrote.

And when she took pen to pad, the results were never short of spectacular. I'll always remember looking over her art for the first time... with each shade of blue she told me about her past; with the deep greens and browns she explained how her soul was in fact one with mine; in the yellow and magenta sunsets I found closure; in her whites I was lost. She had murals of heaven and sculptures of hell. This amazing young woman could blow fire and heal the sick. Her mission was to save those who were within reach... and find those who were not.

She was spoiled, over-oiled someone soiled the machine... flame-broiled, they who toiled in the sun till they were green.

it's like a dog-sneeze. It's just a dog-sneeze- it's kind of funny. The dog has no idea what it's doing- it seems just as surprised as you are when it happens. it's like "...what...in holy hell... just happened to my doGdamn face?" Sometimes I think Bush is like a DogSneeze. Or BogSleeze or something along those lines. What a flippin clown.

the only bush I want to hear from is a burning one. (SeaN 6:29)

Like in Revelations! I love that word (don't know if I spelled it right though...)

Revelations
sever temptations
clever with the letters that I use for presentations
of the truth...
or at least how I see it-
No longer a youth...
but if I wish it, so be it.

And I'll always see it through
because I'm calling out to you
I doubt you'll do it to me...
but your words just pass right through me...

and I'm never lost,
though at times it seems I'm found
these endeavors cost...
their weight in gold, per pound

and I'll cease this
senior thesis
before I let it
fall to peices...

___________________
title

These words are whipping me
sipping like crazy
sucking and ducking and dipping away
calling me, don't know what to say...
appalling to me, that you've nothing to say
and I'm falling down
I'm falling down
I'm falling down...
don't know how I'm calling now.
time will catch me stalling now

and when the rain falls,
I can feel it on my face
I can tell that your not listening...
I know your gone
and slipping away faster
than a single
drop of rain...
swirling
down the
drain

fuck it all but I'm glad now I can write about it
instead of leaving soul at home,
and drowning this body

____________________
sober now

I don't know,
what else to do
but send these thoughts,
addressed to you
and yes it's true
you've followed me
Theses feeling too-

they're calling me

Telling me to dial fast
quickening thoughts flutter past
into receiver, I muttered last;
"I miss you girl. I'm sorry"

But today I'll not dial those digits

Fuck it I'll just fidget with these buttons all god dam night-

at least until your day is over...

...and thank god I'm sober.

_______________________

slow down

Snow's sound.

merry-go-round

Throw down

faux clown

out of po-town

gotta slooooow dooownnnnn
the trains a go now
these brains get blown out
remains are thrown out
the stains are all that remain now...
Feeling insane now
hope she's feeling the same now
glad I came now...
just to see
that I'm
still
to
blame
now...
lost the game now
never the same...
now...
like a rain cloud
thats ready to take out
and break out of the mold
making me cold
forever

alone...now