[psrey]

This is really nice in the sense that it has a wonderful fantasy feel about it. I like it when a piece has a very strong flavor, and this is definitely an excellent example.

My one very tiny gripe would be concerning the dialogue: your characters speak in very large chunks. But then again, you're writing a story in which we should suspend our disbelief, and so I will do so very cheerfully.

I think your opening paragraphs have a very powerful, lyrical quality.

This actually kind of reminds me of Anne Bishop's writing. Very carnal, but full of people who are very jaded from all of their sexual encounters.

If you would like a piece of criticism, let it be this: Be careful that your writing does not get too cliched... in high fantasy, it's almost inevitable, so hold out as long as you can. Beware of the fruit-of-the-loins stuff, the abysses and the tumultuous battles etc.

Keep it up!