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Old 11-09-2007, 08:02 AM
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Re: And the Violin Played

Lovely HaruHaru ^_^

I loved the "the gun in place, the blood in lace" lines as well. Great descriptions, though the poem as a whole seemed slightly choppy and off. Maybe it's just me, since I like rhymes and patterns, but it didn't seem to flow very well.
Think about rhyming more Haruna! You make such lovely pieces.
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He opens his eyes, a thrilling reality.
Lights, trees, and endless morality.
Senses hale a slumbering love,
Preaching to all a life up above.
Little does he know,
This is forbidden darkness,
Straight from Christmas cheer.
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