[RENA HANDS]

Instead of “map” twice in the same sentence what about atlas, diagram or schema?

I jammed my hand into my map pocket and pulled out a schematic of Finland.

A family of birds flew away from the tree where I had been stationed.

A possible rewrite of the sentences.

Live with it birds, your tree has my weapon(instead of machinegun.)
You should italicize this thought. Or perhaps put quotes around I am not certain to which.

You are using the word “tree” too much perhaps try describing the type of tree that the sniper is in. Then say limbs or something similar.

I didn’t want to climb the tree, bec it would cause lots of noise.

The word should be spelled out…I didn’t want to climb the tree because it would cause lots of noise. (Perhaps another word other than “cause.”)

That would be baause it was a fairly tough climb, with no branches low on the tree.

How could the “Captain” be an unknown foe? Certainly he has specific characteristics that would make him identifiable to the sniper? You are being a bit repetitive with making noise. I understand the idea but it could be rewritten to lessen the awkwardness of it.

Instead of saying snow twice in the same sentence/thought what about saying ice or slush. You know give more detail about the wintry scene around this hunt.

He probably wouldn’t have been executed if the shimmering, falling snow off the limbs had not given away his position.

(Or something similar, just give more detail in the mistake.)

Would it not be…Snow fell on the ground that gave the Finn who had been watching an opportunity to strike.

The shot echoed through the soundless forest, and the few birds that twittered away the sounds that they made grew from a faint to a whisper.

(Something similar but not necessarily these words or punctuation exactly.)

This is an incomplete thought…

I marched over to where the poor soldier.---

What is the remaining of this thought?

I believe it would be…

he gritted his teeth and spat out, “Tero Haisa.”

Why did you capitalize the last name?

This also seems incomplete

…“And why are you in a forest while a battle is going on a mile,”

Other words for battle are war, fighting or confrontation. Conflict and or skirmish included.

What about…

The white cameo on his chest had become deep rich in a blood scarlet hue.

(I think redder and redder is too blunt, there is crimson, burgundy and cherry.)

The Finn was trying to push the blood into his face or away from his face to numb the pain?

And if it was into his face then how would blood numb the wound?

“Finn, don’t do this to yourself. I just want to know where your captain is.”

I believe Captain should be capitalized. I could be wrong of course.

The following line was humorous.

I leaned forward so my chin would be between my legs.

(A possible rewrite.)

You don’t need “not one word spoken between the two of us.” Just “not one word spoken between us.” Possibly, again I could be incorrect.

“I worked in Archangelsk until the beginning of the Winter war.”

I don’t think he would ask “What’s up, Tora?” Perhaps

…“What, Tora? What’s wrong?”

A mortar hit the ground behind me and I was pushed forward. The trees shook off all their snow as the mortars(shells) kept raining down.

I examined Tora’s wound; the previous bandage had now a sticky film on its center. The edges were yellow and crusted. The wound itself was deep crimson with black veins pulsing. Tora’s body had writhed with the slightest movement. With each tumble the injury gushed forth a steady stream of blood.

(Or something similar in idea, but can you see the deeper details?)

I opened or tried to open my eyes, but only my left eyelid managed a rise.

(Another possible rewrite of thought/action.)

“The dead or those who will live to see another day! Make your choice, soldier!”

There were a few spacing errors between the paragraphs I think but I could be wrong. The story was a bit abrupt. More detail could have been developed. The descriptions of the soldiers could have also been expanded. Realistically the snipe had time to carve out/write out…“Here is the resting place of a true soldier.”? Also if the soldier is so severely injured why/how could he continue his hunt?

A fascinating story regardless of my inquires and suggestions.