['Ginnis]

You have a very strong ability in description. You set up the character of Ethaniel in such a way as that I didn't feel immense sympathy for him, I had no feelings of "poor poor Ethaniel how cruel life is" but I still had an attatchment to him, a sort of respect for being an individual. The introduction of Sarah we executed so well as that I got excited however I'm not going to lie, I didn't care for the ending. Because of the way you made Ethaniel seem confident enough in himself so as not to be overwhelmingly depressed with the world, his attempt at suicide at the end seemed really out of place, I won't call it a weak cop-out but I think you may wish to revise the beginning if you want to keep the ending as it is.

You're biggest error (and I'm sure Sean mentioned it to you) was that you didn't keep the same verb tense. The scene where he bumps in to her on the street and when he realizes she's not coming were written in present while the rest of the story was written in past. This works only if you make a transition (and even if you do it's really hard to pull off eloquently). Best thing to do would probably be to put it all into past.

Other than that there were just a few little particulars. Grammatical crap and the like. Small technical edit will take care of it.

Congratulations on your first piece and keep up the good work!