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You have a very strong ability in description. You set up the character of Ethaniel in such a way as that I didn't feel immense sympathy for him, I had no feelings of "poor poor Ethaniel how cruel life is" but I still had an attatchment to him, a sort of respect for being an individual.
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That's what I was trying to go for, yes.
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Because of the way you made Ethaniel seem confident enough in himself so as not to be overwhelmingly depressed with the world, his attempt at suicide at the end seemed really out of place
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You're right. I hadn't noticed that before. Hmm... I'll try to see how to edit it. What I trying to go for was that Ethaniel is confident enough in himself, yet being alone has had a toll on him. He thinks of Sarah as the only good thing happening in his life as of this moment, and when he thinks she isn't going to come, he loses control.
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You're biggest error (and I'm sure Sean mentioned it to you) was that you didn't keep the same verb tense.
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I really really wanted the last part to be in present tense, but I couldn't keep the background in the same tense. I knew the tense wasn't probably very good, but I couldn't figure out how to fix it. Maybe I'll revise the whole thing from the beginning.